mr.d and I broke up. I cant even comprehend it. I am heartbroken. Devastated doesn't even begin to describe it. It happened on last monday. I couldn't stop crying for 2 days, didn't eat for about 4 days.
Things were great, as far as I knew. Then BAM its done... well sorta. Here is the story...
I don't know if I mentioned it, but mr.d has depression and has attempted suicide twice in his life. The first time being when he was in 4th grade, the other time being about 5 years ago. I knew about this stuff from the beginning.
After new years, I could tell that something was different. I figured that because of our serious/crazy conversations on new years eve, maybe he was a little freaked out/scared. We both shared a fear of commitment/letting someone in too deep. I figured I would give him some space and that it would all be fine. Last week we had stupid fights over nothing, well he was fighting with me and I was disturbed by his moodiness, then he blew off a party he was supposed to come with me to. I wasn't very concerned or upset because he had been celebrating the Jets win the night before and suspected he would be too hungover to come. I asked him if I could come to the city and have dinner with him on Monday, fully prepared to talk to him about his fears and find out why he is pushing me away so suddenly. On Monday, when I get to his places the conversation immediately gets into how he is feeling. He tells me that he is miserable for no reason, that he feels a downward spiral coming on and he has no control. That he feels moody and unhappy and doesnt know what to do. That he loves me and wants to be with me but doesnt know if it is the best thing to be in a relationship. He tells me it isnt fair to me to be around as he spirals to rock bottom. I see the fear in his eyes. We talked for hours, it was terrible. I was completely a mess, I tried to tell him that it should be up to me to decide if being with him while he is going through this is too much to handle. He was adamant that he wouldnt do that to me. It was insane. I can't even begin to explain all that we talked about. It is just too much.
At the end we decided to allow him to take some time and figure out things for himself. We were "in a relationship" on facebook, he changed it to "it's complicated". Since when did facebook become the relationship litmus test? haha. I know it is stupid and dumb, but in a way I feel that he didn't break up with me on facebook because he isnt ready to. He told me, " I am not sure where I am going with this, I need time".
It is so complicated, I wish it was as easy as he just isnt interested or he wants to see other people, or he is just a jerk. But its not like that, i know it in my gut. Him and I only know fully the things we shared these past 4 months, and it meant something. I really believe that he did get scared, combined with his mental issues, I think he is just having a breakdown of sorts.
I am so worried about him, and yes, I want him back with every fiber of my being, but most of all I want him well and happy. Even if that doesn't include me.
For now, I am trying to give him space, yet let him know I am here and supportive. That I will help him in any way I can even if we arent together.
I really love him.
This sucks...
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 04, 2010
Happy New Year!
Wow, another year has passed by, it has gone so quick.
Overall, 2009 was not a great year. My job was a miserable stressful mess for the first 6 months of the year. My sister's house burned down and her dog perished in the fire. My brother-in-law lost his job, we had to put down 2 family dogs at christmas, money was tight for everyone. I know too many people who were unemployed for most of the year.
BUT, I did meet mr.d and that was fabulous. He was my reward for dealing with such a terrible year. We had an amazing christmas and an even better new years. I am so glad to start the year with him. I couldn't ask for a better guy, and I am soooo happy. Falling in love is the most amazing thing in the world and to be with someone who treats me so great is more amazing than I can describe. The last 2 weeks our relationship has been intense and overwhelming but I wouldn't change a minute of it. When it is him and I, we tend to let our imaginations run wild and talk about the possibilities for the future.
On New Years Eve, mr.d and I, in our drunken haze, talked about marriage and babies, it was crazy talk for sure, but enjoyable. Nice to be with someone who wants that in life and wants to work towards that.
I have no idea what this year will bring, I hope not a heartbreak, but I am hopeful that this year will bring me a lot of happiness. I have a feeling that this will be a year to remember, a turning point in my life.
I can't wait.
Overall, 2009 was not a great year. My job was a miserable stressful mess for the first 6 months of the year. My sister's house burned down and her dog perished in the fire. My brother-in-law lost his job, we had to put down 2 family dogs at christmas, money was tight for everyone. I know too many people who were unemployed for most of the year.
BUT, I did meet mr.d and that was fabulous. He was my reward for dealing with such a terrible year. We had an amazing christmas and an even better new years. I am so glad to start the year with him. I couldn't ask for a better guy, and I am soooo happy. Falling in love is the most amazing thing in the world and to be with someone who treats me so great is more amazing than I can describe. The last 2 weeks our relationship has been intense and overwhelming but I wouldn't change a minute of it. When it is him and I, we tend to let our imaginations run wild and talk about the possibilities for the future.
On New Years Eve, mr.d and I, in our drunken haze, talked about marriage and babies, it was crazy talk for sure, but enjoyable. Nice to be with someone who wants that in life and wants to work towards that.
I have no idea what this year will bring, I hope not a heartbreak, but I am hopeful that this year will bring me a lot of happiness. I have a feeling that this will be a year to remember, a turning point in my life.
I can't wait.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to all (who celebrate it)!!! Hope you get all that you wanted!
My christmas is small this year, my family isn't doing our big celebration, with all the kids, my cousins and my mom till jan 16th. I am going to my brother's for christmas eve dinner and then to my cousin's on christmas day. Not sure when I will be seeing mr.d, I can't wait tho! I haven't seen him in over a week! Plus I cant wait to give him his presents, and of course get mine!
I am nervous about seeing what he got me. I feel like presents are a big deal, shows if the person knows you or not. I am anxious if he will like what I got him. I got him 4 gifts, 1 is a big one, which I know he will love, the 3 others are smaller and he should enjoy them. I'm just worried that he went overboard or that I spent too much. I spent about $200, I hope that is acceptable. I know it is not about the money, but what if he went crazy and spent $400 or didn't and only spent $50??
I would be happy with him in just a red bow! Hahaha
My christmas is small this year, my family isn't doing our big celebration, with all the kids, my cousins and my mom till jan 16th. I am going to my brother's for christmas eve dinner and then to my cousin's on christmas day. Not sure when I will be seeing mr.d, I can't wait tho! I haven't seen him in over a week! Plus I cant wait to give him his presents, and of course get mine!
I am nervous about seeing what he got me. I feel like presents are a big deal, shows if the person knows you or not. I am anxious if he will like what I got him. I got him 4 gifts, 1 is a big one, which I know he will love, the 3 others are smaller and he should enjoy them. I'm just worried that he went overboard or that I spent too much. I spent about $200, I hope that is acceptable. I know it is not about the money, but what if he went crazy and spent $400 or didn't and only spent $50??
I would be happy with him in just a red bow! Hahaha
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
hmmmm
I am in a dilemma. I am not sure if I am justified or if I am over-reacting, being paranoid, or being my own worst enemy.
Things with mr.d are great... for the most part. But there is something gnawing at me. mr.d has depressions issues, he is on medication. This is not the issue for me, but could be the reason for some of my concerns.. I just don't know.
Mr.d can sometimes be cold and distant. We don't talk much other than a few texts at night, saying hello how are you and goodnight. Very rarely do we have a conversation (by text) that lasts more than 10 or so lines. We almost never speak on the phone and we see each other every few Mondays and at least one day out of every weekend.
So here is my problem... mr.d doesn't seem to have an interest in increasing the amount we do speak during the week. Also, we almost always hang out with friends/family... while with with these friends he is always very affectionate, hugging me, kissing me. He doesn't seem to have a desire to hang out alone, I had to make a point 2 weeks ago that I wanted a date night with just him cause we hadn't been alone in over a month (except to sleep and have sex). he didn't see the big deal as, in his words, "I like having you around, kind of look what I got, this is my girlfriend". At first I thought it was sweet and a compliment. But now, its starting to bother me and I wonder if he likes ME or just the idea of me, that he enjoys having a girlfriend who gets along with all his friends and family and he has fun with, but maybe not me personally. Also, he is very affectionate (as I said) in front of other people, but when we are alone, not so much.
For example, on Mondays he goes to the bar for monday night football with his best friend. I will sometimes join him. He is getting over bronchitis and is on some meds. At the bar, he is very affectionate, when we leave so I can take him to the train station, he isn't very talkative in the car and we waited for the train for almost twenty minutes and all I got was a quick peck goodbye. I was a little disappointed to say the least.
Added to that we haven't had sex for 2 weeks, because 1-he was sick, and 2-because of the meds he is on for the depression, his sex drive is low.
I am just starting to have doubts about everything, because I just don't know if I am crazy or not. On one hand I have this guy who is very affectionate in public, loves having me hang out with him and his friends, loves hanging out with my family, tells me almost every day that he misses me, makes plans to see me, tells me that I make him very very happy, invites me to every friend and family function he goes to, who I have amazing sex with, who i am falling in love with.
On the other hand I have this guy who is sometimes distant, who doesn't seem to have a need to have real conversations over 10 mins a day, who doesn't have a need to be alone with me all that much, whose sex drive is a lot lower than mine, who is not very affectionate when we are alone.
I don't know... what do you think? I know this is all my perception and if was writing, who knows what he would say.
Please help me, because I don't want to screw this up if I am just being crazy. But I also don't want to turn a blind eye to things that might be red flags like I did so many times with music man.
Things with mr.d are great... for the most part. But there is something gnawing at me. mr.d has depressions issues, he is on medication. This is not the issue for me, but could be the reason for some of my concerns.. I just don't know.
Mr.d can sometimes be cold and distant. We don't talk much other than a few texts at night, saying hello how are you and goodnight. Very rarely do we have a conversation (by text) that lasts more than 10 or so lines. We almost never speak on the phone and we see each other every few Mondays and at least one day out of every weekend.
So here is my problem... mr.d doesn't seem to have an interest in increasing the amount we do speak during the week. Also, we almost always hang out with friends/family... while with with these friends he is always very affectionate, hugging me, kissing me. He doesn't seem to have a desire to hang out alone, I had to make a point 2 weeks ago that I wanted a date night with just him cause we hadn't been alone in over a month (except to sleep and have sex). he didn't see the big deal as, in his words, "I like having you around, kind of look what I got, this is my girlfriend". At first I thought it was sweet and a compliment. But now, its starting to bother me and I wonder if he likes ME or just the idea of me, that he enjoys having a girlfriend who gets along with all his friends and family and he has fun with, but maybe not me personally. Also, he is very affectionate (as I said) in front of other people, but when we are alone, not so much.
For example, on Mondays he goes to the bar for monday night football with his best friend. I will sometimes join him. He is getting over bronchitis and is on some meds. At the bar, he is very affectionate, when we leave so I can take him to the train station, he isn't very talkative in the car and we waited for the train for almost twenty minutes and all I got was a quick peck goodbye. I was a little disappointed to say the least.
Added to that we haven't had sex for 2 weeks, because 1-he was sick, and 2-because of the meds he is on for the depression, his sex drive is low.
I am just starting to have doubts about everything, because I just don't know if I am crazy or not. On one hand I have this guy who is very affectionate in public, loves having me hang out with him and his friends, loves hanging out with my family, tells me almost every day that he misses me, makes plans to see me, tells me that I make him very very happy, invites me to every friend and family function he goes to, who I have amazing sex with, who i am falling in love with.
On the other hand I have this guy who is sometimes distant, who doesn't seem to have a need to have real conversations over 10 mins a day, who doesn't have a need to be alone with me all that much, whose sex drive is a lot lower than mine, who is not very affectionate when we are alone.
I don't know... what do you think? I know this is all my perception and if was writing, who knows what he would say.
Please help me, because I don't want to screw this up if I am just being crazy. But I also don't want to turn a blind eye to things that might be red flags like I did so many times with music man.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Whiskey Truth
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I sure did, I had 2 of them! Haha
I spent Thanksgiving with mr.d and his family. I met 30 of his closest relatives. It was really awkward at first, but once I started drinking and chatting, it was all good. One thing that I have noticed that has changed is that I have become more social. I used to be up my boyfriends butts in the past at their family events. But on thanksgiving I chatted with almost everyone at the party at some point and spent a lot of time away from mr. d. I had a great time. Mr.d was super cute the whole night, making sure I had a full drink and was having a good time. He was very affectionate....
Mr.d ended up getting very drunk, which led him to profess his love for me time and time again. He has never said it before... I was in shock and would smile at him, which would lead to weird looks from him. He continued to say it over and over again when we were in bed later that night. I told him to stop because he wouldn't remember the next day he said he would, so we made a bet. The next morning I smoothly asked if I won the bet, and he, of course, had no clue what I was talking about. Later as we were driving back to his uncles (cause he was too drunk to drive home) I asked him if he was just playing stupid, he said no he really didn't remember our bet. So I told him he told me he loved me and he was shocked and embarrassed. I let it go.
But, I couldn't let it go. I spent friday at my house while he went fishing, he came over later that night. All I could think about was I LOVE YOU. He opened a door that I was keeping very very closed. Then BAM, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I realized I loved him! He said the words and it was alllll that was on my mind. While we were in bed, I brought it up and told him that I was okay with not saying it, that I was having a great time with how things were going. But he had to go ahead and say those 3 magic words and I was knocked off my feet. He told me that it wasn't that he didn't feel it it's just that he is scared and can't say it.
It kind of sucks, but I totally get it. I am just as scared as him.
Love is scary... but I am loving this guy.... more and more everyday.
Oh yea, my family did thanksgiving on saturday, he had met most of them on my birthday. He said he had a great time with my family and that he feels more comfortable with my family than with his own family. It was a lot of fun. OHHHH!!! My family decided we are not having out Christmas till Jan 16th at my moms house is PA. We picked secret santa for the adults and I was not sure what to do about mr.d, I didn't want him to feel forced to join. I was whispering to my sister about it, and finally she mentioned something to my brother and he asked him directly if he was coming or not. My family is crazy and direct like that. He looked at me, and said "do you want me to come baby?" I said if he wants to, no pressure. He said "I'll be there". My brother then said, "if my sister breaks up with you, too bad, if you break up with her, too bad.. You still have to come" It was hilarious.
How fun that mr.d is planning on being with me in the new year! hehe
I spent Thanksgiving with mr.d and his family. I met 30 of his closest relatives. It was really awkward at first, but once I started drinking and chatting, it was all good. One thing that I have noticed that has changed is that I have become more social. I used to be up my boyfriends butts in the past at their family events. But on thanksgiving I chatted with almost everyone at the party at some point and spent a lot of time away from mr. d. I had a great time. Mr.d was super cute the whole night, making sure I had a full drink and was having a good time. He was very affectionate....
Mr.d ended up getting very drunk, which led him to profess his love for me time and time again. He has never said it before... I was in shock and would smile at him, which would lead to weird looks from him. He continued to say it over and over again when we were in bed later that night. I told him to stop because he wouldn't remember the next day he said he would, so we made a bet. The next morning I smoothly asked if I won the bet, and he, of course, had no clue what I was talking about. Later as we were driving back to his uncles (cause he was too drunk to drive home) I asked him if he was just playing stupid, he said no he really didn't remember our bet. So I told him he told me he loved me and he was shocked and embarrassed. I let it go.
But, I couldn't let it go. I spent friday at my house while he went fishing, he came over later that night. All I could think about was I LOVE YOU. He opened a door that I was keeping very very closed. Then BAM, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I realized I loved him! He said the words and it was alllll that was on my mind. While we were in bed, I brought it up and told him that I was okay with not saying it, that I was having a great time with how things were going. But he had to go ahead and say those 3 magic words and I was knocked off my feet. He told me that it wasn't that he didn't feel it it's just that he is scared and can't say it.
It kind of sucks, but I totally get it. I am just as scared as him.
Love is scary... but I am loving this guy.... more and more everyday.
Oh yea, my family did thanksgiving on saturday, he had met most of them on my birthday. He said he had a great time with my family and that he feels more comfortable with my family than with his own family. It was a lot of fun. OHHHH!!! My family decided we are not having out Christmas till Jan 16th at my moms house is PA. We picked secret santa for the adults and I was not sure what to do about mr.d, I didn't want him to feel forced to join. I was whispering to my sister about it, and finally she mentioned something to my brother and he asked him directly if he was coming or not. My family is crazy and direct like that. He looked at me, and said "do you want me to come baby?" I said if he wants to, no pressure. He said "I'll be there". My brother then said, "if my sister breaks up with you, too bad, if you break up with her, too bad.. You still have to come" It was hilarious.
How fun that mr.d is planning on being with me in the new year! hehe
Monday, November 23, 2009
Temptation
When it rains.. it pours...
In my last post, I didn't talk about one reason for some of my freaking out.
There is this guy, Mark, who an vendor that we work with at my job. He is hot, I have thought so since the day I met him over a year ago. But a year ago, I was all miserable and felling crappy about life, and getting fat. Definitely was not trying to start up a relationship with ANYONE. However, that did not stop the fantasies I had for the many months.
Over the past year, we have become good acquaintances and in the last 6 months or so, become friends. Well things got flirty a few DAYS before I met mr.d. But I didn't read into it, I just thought he was being flirty since I have now lost almost 30 lbs (YAY!) and I look good, as well as I feel good about myself.
Then, over a month ago, his texts got more flirty and interesting, I participated in it, because it was before mr.d and I were "going steady" haha. Then I didn't know how to stop the conversations with Mark... I didn't tell him about mr.d cause I liked the attention, especially since I had been into him for such a long time. It was living a fantasy I had been having for so long. The texts weren't serious or anything, just flirty, stupid conversations...THEN mr.d went ahead and said we were in a relationship on facebook, that is how Mark found out. One Monday morning he sent me a text "congrats on the relation btw".
I admit, I was disappointed... however Marks texts didn't stop. again, I didn't know how to stop it, cause I did like it. Then went for dinner (NOT A DATE), and a week later we went dancing and drinking.
Mark knew I did not want to cheat on mr.d, but that didn't stop him from trying. There was/is so much sexual tension between us. I was confused because I really like mr.d but there was just this THING with Mark that I couldn't deny either.
So the night we are out drinking and dancing, and Mark keeps trying to do anything. It hit me how much I do not want Mark. I want mr.d. Sometimes the fantasy is just that. I did allow the line to get blurred and crossed it a bit, but I didn't full cross it, THANK GOD. I also realized that part of the reason I even allowed what little did occur between Mark and I was cause I was so scared of my relationship with mr.d. I was so afraid to get hurt that I was effectively sabotaging it. Mr.d even called me out on it, because he could sense I was pushing him away and almost trying to give him reasons to not be with me.
Since that night out with Mark, we are completely just friends, and I have no attraction to him anymore.
I only have eyes for Mr.D
In my last post, I didn't talk about one reason for some of my freaking out.
There is this guy, Mark, who an vendor that we work with at my job. He is hot, I have thought so since the day I met him over a year ago. But a year ago, I was all miserable and felling crappy about life, and getting fat. Definitely was not trying to start up a relationship with ANYONE. However, that did not stop the fantasies I had for the many months.
Over the past year, we have become good acquaintances and in the last 6 months or so, become friends. Well things got flirty a few DAYS before I met mr.d. But I didn't read into it, I just thought he was being flirty since I have now lost almost 30 lbs (YAY!) and I look good, as well as I feel good about myself.
Then, over a month ago, his texts got more flirty and interesting, I participated in it, because it was before mr.d and I were "going steady" haha. Then I didn't know how to stop the conversations with Mark... I didn't tell him about mr.d cause I liked the attention, especially since I had been into him for such a long time. It was living a fantasy I had been having for so long. The texts weren't serious or anything, just flirty, stupid conversations...THEN mr.d went ahead and said we were in a relationship on facebook, that is how Mark found out. One Monday morning he sent me a text "congrats on the relation btw".
I admit, I was disappointed... however Marks texts didn't stop. again, I didn't know how to stop it, cause I did like it. Then went for dinner (NOT A DATE), and a week later we went dancing and drinking.
Mark knew I did not want to cheat on mr.d, but that didn't stop him from trying. There was/is so much sexual tension between us. I was confused because I really like mr.d but there was just this THING with Mark that I couldn't deny either.
So the night we are out drinking and dancing, and Mark keeps trying to do anything. It hit me how much I do not want Mark. I want mr.d. Sometimes the fantasy is just that. I did allow the line to get blurred and crossed it a bit, but I didn't full cross it, THANK GOD. I also realized that part of the reason I even allowed what little did occur between Mark and I was cause I was so scared of my relationship with mr.d. I was so afraid to get hurt that I was effectively sabotaging it. Mr.d even called me out on it, because he could sense I was pushing him away and almost trying to give him reasons to not be with me.
Since that night out with Mark, we are completely just friends, and I have no attraction to him anymore.
I only have eyes for Mr.D
Friday, November 20, 2009
Hello Happiness!
I am happy... very happy. It is amazing.. and shocking.
mr.d and I are going strong, things are progressing very well. I haven't had a freak-out about being in a relationship in over a week. Haha.. I was having weekly freak-outs. I hasn't truly realized how scared I am of being in a relationship until natural, wonderful milestones were happening in my relationship with mr.d.
One thorn, well its not a big thorn, just a little one, is that mr.d has a female best friend, Mindy. They have been friends since college, have never hooked up, only interest has ever been on his side. He says now he wouldn't touch her, she is more like a sister. When I hang out with both of them, it is very apparent there is noooo interest on either side. However, she is the jealous/possessive type (she admits this) and I am treading lightly to see what that means. So far, she has never done anything to bother me or try to prove her "position" in his life. mr.d will sometimes refer to her as baby, which drives a stick through my heart, its not a endearing baby, more like a "hey baaaby", but he also calls me baby (different tone) and it irks me. I refer to my guy friends as hun or sweetie sometimes, so I know that its nothing. Him and I are very similar in our relationships with the opposite sex. I have very close guy friends that from the outside seem "inappropriate" but its all innocent.
The only time Mindy is an issue for me is when other people get into my head. A few weeks after we started dating, mr.d and mindy went on a trip to new orleans. This was a pre-planned trip, they are both HUGE sports freaks and were going to a football game. They went down there for 5 days. mr.d waiting until the week of to finally book his flight and the hotel. He booked a room for them, with only 1 queen size bed, and said he would see what he could do once he got there. I was feeling weird about the trip and them sharing a hotel room. I heard from him the first night he got there, he text me till 4am, and said he got an upgrade to a room with 2 beds. Then I didn't hear from him till sunday, when Mindy text me that he lost his phone.
Of course, alllllll my insecurites came floating up and I was freaking out. He came back on a monday and was supposed to come over (around 10pm), he had no phone so i had no way to reach him. At 11:30 he calls and said he was exhausted and wasnt coming over. I, of course, flipped my shit. He ended up coming over on tuesday and we talked for hours, abotu everything, the trip, him not coming over, my fears, worries, etc.
Since that conversation, things have been amazing. He has been (and always has) so sweet and attentive. Tells me he misses me all the time. He makes sure we have plans to see each other again. I am so calm and chill about it all. Take tonight, he has a few friends in town this weekend and really wanted me to come out tonight, but I didn't feel like going into the city tonight as I am going there tomorrow and I have to work on sunday, so I wanted one night at home. They wanted to go to a comedy club tonight or tomorrow, I told him that tomorrow I want to make it an early night. He agreed and so he is out, drinking, having a good time, and I am at home blogging. No problem, no worries, no insecurites, no freaking out. No obsess texting, either!
Is this what a healthy relationship is like??
mr.d and I are going strong, things are progressing very well. I haven't had a freak-out about being in a relationship in over a week. Haha.. I was having weekly freak-outs. I hasn't truly realized how scared I am of being in a relationship until natural, wonderful milestones were happening in my relationship with mr.d.
One thorn, well its not a big thorn, just a little one, is that mr.d has a female best friend, Mindy. They have been friends since college, have never hooked up, only interest has ever been on his side. He says now he wouldn't touch her, she is more like a sister. When I hang out with both of them, it is very apparent there is noooo interest on either side. However, she is the jealous/possessive type (she admits this) and I am treading lightly to see what that means. So far, she has never done anything to bother me or try to prove her "position" in his life. mr.d will sometimes refer to her as baby, which drives a stick through my heart, its not a endearing baby, more like a "hey baaaby", but he also calls me baby (different tone) and it irks me. I refer to my guy friends as hun or sweetie sometimes, so I know that its nothing. Him and I are very similar in our relationships with the opposite sex. I have very close guy friends that from the outside seem "inappropriate" but its all innocent.
The only time Mindy is an issue for me is when other people get into my head. A few weeks after we started dating, mr.d and mindy went on a trip to new orleans. This was a pre-planned trip, they are both HUGE sports freaks and were going to a football game. They went down there for 5 days. mr.d waiting until the week of to finally book his flight and the hotel. He booked a room for them, with only 1 queen size bed, and said he would see what he could do once he got there. I was feeling weird about the trip and them sharing a hotel room. I heard from him the first night he got there, he text me till 4am, and said he got an upgrade to a room with 2 beds. Then I didn't hear from him till sunday, when Mindy text me that he lost his phone.
Of course, alllllll my insecurites came floating up and I was freaking out. He came back on a monday and was supposed to come over (around 10pm), he had no phone so i had no way to reach him. At 11:30 he calls and said he was exhausted and wasnt coming over. I, of course, flipped my shit. He ended up coming over on tuesday and we talked for hours, abotu everything, the trip, him not coming over, my fears, worries, etc.
Since that conversation, things have been amazing. He has been (and always has) so sweet and attentive. Tells me he misses me all the time. He makes sure we have plans to see each other again. I am so calm and chill about it all. Take tonight, he has a few friends in town this weekend and really wanted me to come out tonight, but I didn't feel like going into the city tonight as I am going there tomorrow and I have to work on sunday, so I wanted one night at home. They wanted to go to a comedy club tonight or tomorrow, I told him that tomorrow I want to make it an early night. He agreed and so he is out, drinking, having a good time, and I am at home blogging. No problem, no worries, no insecurites, no freaking out. No obsess texting, either!
Is this what a healthy relationship is like??
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